


Handle Me with Care

by bigficenergy



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Coming In Pants, Date Night, Embarrassment, Fluff and Humor, M/M, reference to past drug use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-05
Updated: 2020-01-05
Packaged: 2021-02-24 22:08:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22125223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bigficenergy/pseuds/bigficenergy
Summary: Patrick and David navigate a little mishap during a date night at the motel.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 27
Kudos: 304





	Handle Me with Care

**Author's Note:**

> (For what it's worth I'd call this a light M.)
> 
> Title from "Handle with Care" (the [Jenny Lewis](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QXh94o7tAxQ) version, just because that's the version I was introduced to first, and so it was the version that was stuck in my head throughout writing this).

Date nights at the motel are rare. David’s sister and/or parents are usually around, and when they’re not, David still makes a ridiculous, adorable, scrunched-up face if Patrick suggests an evening at the motel. But desperate times - no, _trying_ times - call for compromise.

And so one evening, when the rest of the Roses will be out for at least a few hours later than usual, Patrick goes over to David’s. They order Chinese food and eat it at the circular table with a bottle of nice cabernet from the store. David criticizes Patrick’s chopstick skills, and Patrick continues to eat his fried rice as inefficiently as possible to spite him. All the while, they sit close, their knees touching.

The plan after dinner is to watch a movie. Really, it is. David has the laptop in his hand one minute, but then the next, he’s putting it down in favor of being kissed. It’s probably the wine that’s making Patrick feel warm and soft around the edges, and he’s just going with it, leaning into David, letting himself be wrapped up in his arms.

Suddenly David is dropping to sit on his bed, and Patrick hadn’t even realized he was backing him in that direction. He bends down and David moves with him, scooting back so that Patrick can crawl over him. Just as Patrick has settled on top of him, David takes hold and flips their positions. Patrick gasps and flails to help keep David from rolling off of him and off the edge of the tiny twin mattress. And then they’re both laughing and kissing and kissing until they don’t have the breath to spare for laughing anymore.

They haven’t been together that long, but Patrick already can’t imagine ever getting tired of feeling David’s weight on him, of the scratch of his stubble when he runs his thumb along his jaw, of the way David smiles into a kiss. Patrick is slowly, steadily becoming less shy about going for what he wants with David, physically. Now, he tugs up the hem of David’s sweater so he can get a hand underneath, scratching up David’s side where he knows he’s sensitive, making him twitch away. Patrick wraps his arms around him to pull him back in closer, bending one of his knees and getting a tease of pressure from David’s leg between his.

He’s less self-conscious about this now, too. His body reacts to David in a way it never has to anyone else. At first, he’d tried to hide it, keep distance between their bodies so David wouldn’t know. But he’d assured Patrick it was fine, it was good, he was happy he felt that good.

Patrick feels _really_ good right now. He knows David can feel him, hard against his thigh. David isn’t really giving him any extra pressure or motion. He’s just kissing him. But there’s nothing “just” about David kissing him. David kissing him like this makes him melt into a warm, happy puddle of goo. He hopes he’s still reciprocating decently in his gooey state.

He gets so lost in it, he’s not prepared when the lazy pleasure coursing through him suddenly coalesces into something focused and insistent. Panic claws through his happy haze as he realizes he’s about to come in his pants just from David kissing him, from David on top of him, from just enough pressure in just the right place.

“Mmf, _David_ ,” he gasps, turning his head away to break the kiss. He regrets this immediately, because now David is looking at him, can see his face as his eyes flutter shut and his mouth falls open. His cock throbs in his jeans, and he can’t help pressing up harder into David as the orgasm washes over him.

He takes a moment to catch his breath, then forces himself to look at David, who appears to have watched him through the whole thing.

“So you just-”

“Yeah,” Patrick says, eyes squeezed shut. The dizzying bliss is wearing off rapidly, giving way to embarrassment. When he looks at David again, David’s lips are pressed together tightly against a smile. Patrick wants to evaporate.

“I gotta…” he says, wriggling his way out from under David and making a break for the bathroom.

“Patrick wait, it’s-” he hears David say before slamming the door.

Inside the bathroom, Patrick scrubs his hands over his face, then hastily undoes his jeans and shucks them off. They’re mostly unscathed, a little dampness transferred from his underwear, but not stained. The underwear, of course, were not so fortunate.

 _This is what I get,_ Patrick thinks, looking down at the waistband of the snug Calvin Klein trunks he'd bought on sale just the other day. He'd gone to the mall in Elm Valley thinking he might pick up a few new things, wanting to look nice when he went out with David. He hadn’t even thought about underwear, but then he saw the display and, well… even if they were going slow, it couldn’t hurt to have something nice to wear if and when the time came. He’d picked out a few pairs, his favorite being the ones he’s wearing now, modal in a medium blue. They’re comfortable and look great on him, and the confidence boost doesn’t hurt. He’d figured there was no need to save them until he and David were ready to pick up the pace.

And now he’s ruined them.

There's a tentative knock on the bathroom door.

“Patrick? It's okay, really.”

“You were laughing at me,” Patrick says weakly.

“No, no, it wasn't _at_ you. You're just normally so unflappable, and you were making this face that I… it caught me off guard, but I shouldn't have… I'm sorry. Is there anything I can do?”

“I don’t…” Patrick looks down at himself, exasperated.

“Do you… want to borrow a pair of underwear?”

Patrick knows he should say yes, but that seems… weirdly intimate, this early in the relationship.

“I can’t,” Patrick says, peeling his underwear off.

“Oh thank god,” David sighs. “I wasn’t sure what pair I’d be willing to lend out.”

Patrick laughs despite himself. He balls up his underwear and places them on the corner of the counter, then cleans himself up. He hesitates before pulling his jeans back on, sans underwear. He’s never understood how anyone found the whole commando thing sexy, but it’s better than the alternative of standing there in just his sweater.

There’s a sound against the door, like David is pawing at it anxiously.

“Okay,” he says. “Okay, you can wash them. Everything you need is in there.”

“They won’t be dry by the time Alexis gets back,” Patrick argues.

“You can use the hair dryer.”

Patrick sighs, feeling anxious and ridiculous. “Okay, fine, what do I…”

“Start running the hot water in the sink. It’s gonna take a minute to warm up. Then get the plastic basin and the detergent out from under the sink.”

Patrick does as he’s told. When he tests the water with his finger a moment later, he hisses and yanks it back.

“Sorry!” David says through the door. “Once it’s hot, it’s scalding, so now you have to turn the cold on, just a little.”

He does, and a minute later, the water is a comfortable temperature.

“Okay first, rinse off any excess… um…”

“Yup, got it,” Patrick says, holding his underwear under the water and rinsing the worst of it off.

“Right, okay, and then when that’s done, put some detergent in the basin and fill it with water.”

He does, and then David instructs him to put his underwear in, “gently agitate” the material, and then let them soak. While they wait, Patrick leans against the door. He’s pretty sure David is doing the same on the other side. His voice sounds very close when he speaks.

“Are you okay?”

Patrick sighs. “I’m embarrassed.”

“You don't have to be,” David insists. “Bodies react to stimulation. That's all it was.”

“I think I like you too much to convince myself it was just a reaction to stimulation,” Patrick murmurs, half hoping David doesn't hear him. But he does.

“Oh that's, um… that’s okay too,” David says.

“But it’s not,” Patrick says, squeezing his eyes shut and letting his head fall back against the door. “I’m too old for that to happen.”

Patrick hears and feels a soft _thunk_ on the other side of the door, like David has dropped his head against the door too.

“It does happen though. It’s not a big deal.”

David sounds so gentle and sincere, but Patrick can’t shake his frustration with himself.

“Would you be saying that if it had been you?”

“It has been me before. I had to tell myself that when it happened to me, too.”

That brings Patrick’s downward spiral to a screeching halt.

“Oh. Wh-”

“A long time ago. Well, not that long ago, because 27 was _not_ that long ago. Anyway, I was at a um… a play party. Not one with a particularly conscientious host, so there were various… substances being passed around. I took something and it made me feel… honestly, I felt amazing. I felt _too_ good. I had this friend… I guess that's a generous label considering what happened. But I think we were both expecting this party to be the night we finally hooked up. I still can't remember what I was on, but I came the second he touched me. I remember he was annoyed. And then he left me to check out the rest of the party.”

Patrick swallows against the lump in his throat. “Did you get out of there okay?”

“Oh yeah,” David says dismissively. “I basically slept through the party and no one bothered with me. I guess that's lucky.”

Patrick is relieved, but now he’s embarrassed for a new reason. He’d made such a big deal, when it came down to it, it was an accident, and he was fortunate to be with someone who didn't ditch him or make fun of him for it.

“That’s probably long enough, for the soak,” David says, breaking the silence. “You can take them out and wring out the excess water. I’m assuming that won’t damage them.”

“Didn’t I mention they’re silk?” Patrick says, attempting to generate some levity as he wrings out his very-much-not-silk underwear.

“I know you’re joking, but you still gave me a palpitation, so I hope you’re happy,” David says.

“Sorry,” Patrick says, but he's smiling now. “They're not silk, but they are nicer than what I'd normally wear.”

There’s a pause while David processes this, and then he asks, “Are you telling me you purchased and wore special date night underwear?”

“Too presumptuous?”

“No, no, it’s, um. It’s nice.”

“Went well, didn’t it?” Patrick says, laying the underwear on the counter so he can dump out the basin and look for the hair dryer.

“Oh, the hair dryer is kind of old and janky, so make sure your hands are dry before you plug it in,” David says. “Alexis has learned that lesson the hard way. Twice.”

Patrick dries his hands thoroughly, plugs in the hair dryer, and switches it on, but it doesn’t work. He hits the reset button. Nothing. Tries the other outlet. Still nothing.

“You might have to keep your finger on the switch for it to work,” David says, after he’s let Patrick thump around for a couple of minutes.

Patrick gives it a try and it almost works, but he can’t get it to stay on. He’s getting frustrated again.

“The store is doing well enough for you to replace this hair dryer, David.”

“Okay, well _I_ can get it to work, so I’ve prioritized other things. And anyway, it’s Alexis’s fault it’s broken, so she should be the one to replace it.”

“Let me guess. She thinks you broke it.”

“She’s wrong!”

“David!”

“Just… let me in, I can do it.”

“David, no…”

“Patrick. You are a very practical person. I admire that about you. Now let’s be practical and get this done before someone comes home.”

Patrick groans and unlocks the door. David peeks in tentatively before coming in and locking the door behind him. His eyes fall on Patrick first, dropping down to where he’s left his jeans undone. Flustered, Patrick tugs his sweater down and David covers his eyes.

“Sorry, sorry. Let me just…”

He drops his hands and turns his attention to the counter. He smiles when he sees the little blue trunks.

“Oh,” he says softly. “Cute.”

“This isn’t how I wanted you to see them for the first time.”

“Hmm.” David shakes his head, refocusing on the task. He picks up the hair dryer and flips the switch on and off a few times, knocks it against the counter, flips it on once more, holding the switch in place, and at last, it stays on. He picks up the trunks by the waistband and starts to dry them, slowly but surely.

Patrick doesn’t really know what to do with himself, so he sits on the closed toilet lid and tries to focus on David’s face rather than the embarrassing fact of his underwear being dried off by his business partner, who he’s dating, using the busted hair dryer he shares with his sister. But David’s mouth is twisted in concentration, and it’s so endearing, Patrick realizes a moment later that he’s gazing. Eventually, David catches him looking, and deflects the attention by making Patrick hold the underwear for him while he finishes drying them.

“Okay,” David says after quite some time, switching the hair dryer off and shaking out the hand that had been holding the switch. “I think you should be good.”

Patrick feels the fabric for any dampness and agrees.

“Well that was harrowing,” he says. “Thank you. Can you, uh…”

David turns and starts putting things away under the sink with his back to Patrick. Patrick turns away too, taking off his jeans so he can put his underwear back on.

“I'm sorry,” Patrick says as he’s refastening his jeans once more. “For making such a big deal, and making you tell that story.”

David is standing now, his back still to Patrick, arms wrapped anxiously around himself.

“You didn't make me. I shouldn't have told it. I was trying to help and I just brought things down more.”

“No,” Patrick insists, coaxing David to turn and face him with a gentle hand on his arm. “It was nice of you to try to make me feel better. And for what it's worth, I'm not judging you for whatever you may have done in the past.”

David looks skeptical, but Patrick means it. And he especially needs David to believe that he means it, because maybe then he won't judge Patrick for his past.

But Patrick doesn’t get a chance to convince him, because at that moment, the motel room door opens, and Alexis’s chattering spills into the room beyond the bathroom door. There’s also the occasional sound of a response from Stevie.

“ _Fuck_ ,” David whispers, pulling his phone out of his pocket to look at the time.

Patrick is about to suggest that David go out first and draw them away so he can sneak out, but then he realizes they probably saw his car parked outside.

Then one of them tries to open the locked bathroom door, and it's too late.

“Um…” Stevie says, jiggling the locked doorknob again.

“Ughhh, David!" Alexis calls, and then she's right outside the bathroom too. "Are you almost done? Stevie needs to pee!”

“Patrick's car is still here,” Stevie whispers to Alexis, because of course she would be the one to notice.

“Ew!” Alexis smacks at the door. “David you had the whole room to yourself, why are you defiling our bathroom?!”

David unlocks the door and yanks it open.

“Nobody is defiling anything,” he says, quiet but brusque, pushing past Alexis and Stevie. Patrick follows him out sheepishly.

“Thennn what were you two doing in there?” Stevie asks.

“There was… an incident with the sweet and sour sauce,” David says, gesturing at the table where their takeout containers are. “We had to salvage Patrick's… jeans.”

“Huh,” Stevie says, bending to examine the front of Patrick’s pants. “You must have done a good job, because I don't see anything.”

“The point of getting a stain out… _is to get the stain out_ ,” David says, his voice still soft, but increasingly vicious. When Alexis tilts her head to look too, he finally raises his voice. “Can everyone please stop looking at my b… at Patrick’s… pants?!”

“Oh my god, defensive, much?” Alexis says, straightening up and brushing her hair back.

“So whose sauce was it?” Stevie asks, looking at Patrick.

Stevie brings out the worst in David, and she’s starting to do the same to Patrick. That sounds like a bad thing, but he kind of loves it. He’s always prided himself on being sharp and competitive, and the fact that Stevie knows how to goad him, and likes to loop him in when she’s teasing David… well, it’s fun. He returns her serve.

“It was my sauce, but it was David’s fault,” he says, watching her face go from amused, to processing what he’s just said, to disgust and probably regret for leading him there. He turns his attention to David. “We should probably call it a night.”

“Yeah, I guess,” David sighs, throwing his hands up.

“Goodnight Patrick!” Stevie calls, as she heads into the bathroom.

“Yeah, good to see you, Patrick!” Alexis adds as she peeks into the leftover takeout boxes for anything worth stealing a bite of.

David walks Patrick out to his car. At the driver’s side door, Patrick turns to face him.

“David, I’m sorry-”

“No,” David interrupts. “No more apologies.”

“I just…” Patrick looks away. “Sometimes I worry that it isn’t fun for you, being with someone as… inexperienced as me.”

David doesn’t say anything. With a finger under Patrick’s chin, he tips his face up so he can lean down and kiss him. Patrick slides his hands up David’s back, and David wraps his arms around him as they kiss for several long moments. When they part, David stays close, squeezing Patrick’s shoulders affectionately.

“Does that seem like it’s not fun for me?”

“I don’t know,” Patrick says, his eyes on David’s mouth. “I think we should do that some more until I’m sure.”

David smiles and kisses him again, just once.

“I think you’re pretty sure.” Another kiss. “I think by tomorrow you’ll forget you were ever embarrassed.” Another kiss. “And you’ll be onto trying to make _me_ come in _my_ pants.”

“Hmph,” Patrick hums as David kisses him one last time. “Is that a challenge?”

“See? You’re fine.” He kisses Patrick on the cheek. “But if you need another boost, just know that I can’t wait to actually see you in those little blue undies. You know, if it comes to… if you want to show me.”

“Well, I should warn you,” Patrick says. “They don’t leave much to the imagination.”

“Now you’re just being mean,” David says. With one last kiss on the cheek, he pulls away. “Text me when you get home.”

“I will. Goodnight, David.”

Backing toward the motel, David smiles. “Goodnight, Patrick.”

During the drive home, Patrick wonders if texting David a picture of himself in his date night underwear would be considered moving too fast.

\---

A few mornings later, David comes into the store at his usual time and finds Patrick behind the register, and a gift bag on the counter.

“Hi,” David says, greeting Patrick with a kiss on the cheek - another thing Patrick can’t imagine ever getting tired of. “What's this?”

“It’s for you. Open it.”

David sets his bag down and peeks into the gift bag. He makes a face, like he wants to be annoyed but is really just amused, and pulls out the new hair dryer Patrick had bought for him.

“So I guess you're feeling better about our date the other night,” David says.

“Getting there.”

“You didn’t have to do this.”

“Just consider it a belated one-week anniversary gift. Or an early two-week one.”

“Oh no,” David says, putting the hair dryer back in the bag. “We are not doing _week-iversaries._ ”

“Of course not. After this, I'll be moving on to strictly month-iversaries.”

“Please don't,” David says, taking his bag and the gift into the back room.

“You’re welcome,” Patrick calls after him.

“Thank you!” David calls back.

“Oh, and you have to let Alexis use it too. I'd really rather that neither of you go on risking electrocution.”

David groans loudly and Patrick laughs.

**Author's Note:**

> Heaven forbid I have to describe someone's underwear in a fic, because that just leads to hours lost to window shopping. The inspiration for Patrick's special date night underwear were [these trunks](https://www.calvinklein.us/en/mens-clothing/mens-trunks/ultra-soft-modal-trunk-61901796-403).
> 
> Thanks for reading! A few people have mentioned that they've been in the mood for some of the earlier scenarios these two might have been in, and I do love to write about that, so I'm gonna plug a few other "early days" fics I've done:
> 
> [...Or Whatever](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21996547)   
>  [Like a Slow Fire Burn](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21880414)   
>  [💀 [Skull Emoji]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20983343)   
>  [Lead Me (and Fit Around My Tongue)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19828621)
> 
> And if by the end of that you just want them to get on with it already, here's my night-at-Stevie's: [One for One](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17969648)
> 
> 😘


End file.
